If you’ve read any of my prior blog posts, you will not be surprised by how heavily I lean into the philosophy that our external realities start from within. It’s why so many manifestation tips surround being positive. Take it from me. You can absolutely have a negative mindset, but that’ll undoubtedly produce results that keep you in that very mindset. Positive thinking is the goal. We want to be evolving into being accepting, understanding, loving, and compassionate. It’s important that we are those things to ourselves, first and foremost. When we treat ourselves that way, we can then hold that energy for others, giving them the safety and freedom to do the same. That freedom spreads like wildfire.

I say all of that to say, the state of the economy is shit. Politics pitting us against one another other is shit. Capitalism aiming to make us feel like we aren’t enough and need more and more is shit. It’s kind of a fucking shit show and yet, even still, I love life and I’m mostly positive. 

I’ve recently come to a realization that my childhood was quite sad and yet I’m mostly positive. My finances are not financing (for various reasons at the moment) and guess what? I’m mostly positive. It doesn’t matter what I go through, what I went through, or will go through, I can always find the good, the positive, and a understanding in life. I can always be [say it with me now] mostly positive.

I’ve manifested some tough situations, and I’ve manifested some great ones. The difference between the two has been and will always be, how positively or how negatively I view myself and the world around me.

I say “mostly positive” because I’m human. I’m not a positivity robot that never thinks or feels negatively. I get down about things. I’m not flittering around sprinkling positivity powder everywhere I go. I rub people the wrong way sometimes, I get rubbed the wrong way sometimes, I find myself complaining every now and then, and I can sometimes find I’m holding an attachment to a person or things that’s just meant for me, and that can hurt, I can get down about a situation I’m experiencing. But guess what? I am happy to report to you that never feeling negative emotions is not the key to having a positive mindset. BOOM! [mic drop]. We’d all be doomed if that was the case.

It’s inevitable we’re going to feel negative emotions from time to time. Deep ego work will help to alleviate how frequently we feel negatively, but we’re human, it happens to the best of us. Negative emotions help us. They are not the enemy they are our guiding light.

The key to being positive is to center loving yourself (the “good” AND the “bad”) and enjoying the ride of this human experience so deeply that you accept the process of life. When life is great, and everything is going well, we love it (love that for us), but when life feels restrictive and difficult, we should love those moments too, or at the very least, find appreciation in them. Accepting the duality of life and finding something positive and an understanding as often as we can in situations boosts our ability to think positively as a default.

You: Girl, you are insane! How can I be positive when my world is crumbling? Why should I be?

Me: Good question. Thank you for asking!

As I mentioned, our external realities reflect what we think and feel internally. Let’s just say, for example, you felt hurt and betrayed by someone, so you start to move through life with the belief that you can’t trust people. You will inevitably invite untrustworthy people into your orbit, or you’ll always find evidence that forces people into that box of expectations you’ve set. Eventually, as time goes on, you may find you’ve isolated yourself from people, you can’t trust anyone (including yourself, otherwise you would believe in your judgment), and you’re living a dissatisfied life. Ya see why thinking positively is so crucial. Life just sucks when you don’t see beauty in it. Don’t live a sucky life, you don’t have to.

If you take the difficult times and interactions and internalize them as truth, they’ll snowball into negative thought patterns and beliefs that will invite more of that difficulty in. The key is to NOT internalize the bad times and interactions. Feel whatever emotion you need to feel from the experience, then release it. If it takes a while to release, then so be it, but it DOES need to be released. This was,y you can find your way to better feeling thoughts that will lead you to having interactions and situations you actually want to have.

How I do this in my personal life.

I’m very much a happy go lucky bitch. I’m happy to be here experiencing life and all of its beauty. I’m happy to be experiencing emotions. I’m happy to be here creating. I’m happy I get to be here with you. I fucking love you.

I just love life so much. I find joy and appreciation in the smallest of things. I could be sitting on my patio sipping coffee with my cat, watching the birds fly by, and I’m overwhelmed with love and joy. I could be eating an amazing meal I prepared for myself, and I’ll be so overcome with emotion that I have to stop and appreciate myself and all that I do for me because I love me so much. I’m in awe of me.

I’ll be spending time with the people I love, and I’d feel so warm and so appreciative of this love and energy I get reciprocate with them no matter the setting. I’ll be getting my nails done, and my nail tech is paying attention to the details, and I can tell she takes her work seriously. I will feel a burst of warmth seeing her doing something she cares about and in that silence (there is a language barrier and believe it or not I’m not very talkative) I will extend my loving energy outwards and wrap it around her and I make sure to tip her and thank her wholeheartedly to show my appreciation. Oh, and don’t get me started about being in nature.

Now, not everything is sweet. I’ve had experiences that left me feeling like shit. I’ve had experiences that have attacked my self-worth. I could have had a bad day and may have been unkind in an interaction. I’ve had experiences that felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and stomped on. Moments like those will make me take a pause for sure and question myself, but I always get to a point, whether it’s moments, days, or weeks later, where I’m like,” wow, I’m living the human experience”. I am literally living my purpose. I can always get to a place where I’m accepting myself for not behaving in a way that I would have liked, and I make a conscious effort to be kinder with myself and others next time. I can always get to a place where I’m sending an energetic thank you and hug to whoever helped to facilitate an ego death in me (after all, they have been instrumental in my character development). My self and any other parties involved deserve grace, love, and appreciation.

In the difficult times, I grow so incredibly thankful that I have feelings, that I can feel my feelings, and that I am brave enough to honor my feelings. My feelings are my navigation system. I’m so lucky that I can take in the information, learn from it, and know what to do differently next time. Because guess what!? There gets to be a goddamn next time! I’m a happy go lucky ass bitch what can I say.

Through life, I’ve developed the knowing that being positive is not wearing a smile 24/7. It’s not ignoring your emotions, shoving them aside, and lying to ourselves and others. Trying to trick ourselves leans into delusion (and not the fun, optimistic kind). That is not at all being positive. At its core, beneath the façade, its negativity and self-hatred. When we start to lie to ourselves, we are not accepting and honoring ourselves. We want to drop that bone and back away nice and slow.

It’s okay to have negative thoughts and emotions; we all have them. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. Being mostly positive starts with not hiding from ourselves, accepting our truths, feeling our feelings, honoring our feelings, seeing how beautiful we are as beings, understanding that we are creators, and understanding that we’ll create something better next time if we don’t like what came from the past creation.

We can all be mostly positive. This is how I live life and like I said, I’m a happy go lucky ass bitch. I am appreciative of it all. I am committed to the growth. I’m not telling you to get like me buuuuut….. It’s pretty great over here seeing the beauty in everything. Life is great even when it feels like it’s not. Give yourself grace and acceptance. I’m extending it to you. I love you.

-Tales of a Nobody