Love is not an adjective; it’s a verb. It’s a way of being, of showing up that we must consciously do. Taking the actions to love is to choose to have a high-quality life that feels meaningful, exciting, vibrant, full-hearted, and fulfilling.
This blog post is inspired by where my core focus lies, what the world looks like from my eyes, Bell Hooks’ beautifully written book All About Love, as well as a conversation I had the pleasure of having with my beautiful grandmother.
I don’t mean to start this article off creating anxiety or triggering you, but what I am about to say is our current reality (my perspective of it of course). If you’ve read my article The Creator, you will be well aware that I am a big believer that in order to create the life we desire, we must first open our eyes and see the world we’ve created. The seeing part isn’t always pretty or easy, but it is worth it. And so, here’s to seeing [clink] (that was you and I clinking our imaginary glasses).
As things are today, we are led by a president who is heavily ruled by an insecure ego, consumed in the material world, and out of touch with humanness. In addition, extreme capitalism has ran rampant and has been quickly and steadily feeding away at our collective humanness (we all are victims of this system we participated in creating, including our current president). The cost of living is through the roof. We’re working to simply survive. Radical opinions are very loudly and effortlessly shared with the help of social media, and shaming is the almighty tool used to enforce our views on one another. As a whole, we are being conditioned to live an insecure life and to passively exist.
We end our work shifts, and we don’t want to think, let alone do anything. We are low on energy yet freely give away what little of it we feel we have left to the various electronic portals we have access to. We pacify ourselves with low-quality relaxation and entertainment to prepare ourselves mentally to contribute to the machine that’s draining our life force in the first place. Few, take time to breathe and think about what the fuck is happening. People are exhausted, irritable, reactive, hive-minded, divided, and can feel intolerable at times. There is so much more I can say about how we are looking as a masses (through my lens), but I think I painted the picture I wanted. Things are looking pretty bleak right now.
We’re scared of one another; we live in a state of fear and with unregulated nervous systems. We don’t trust one another, we don’t care for one another, we don’t care for or trust ourselves, even. We are just trying to survive and distract ourselves from the fact that we are in survival mode. I am not exempt.
We’ve been conditioned to value things and superficiality above ourselves, our internal emotional navigational system, and one another. We’ve been made to value ease and convince but not question the cost of it. The cost, my friend, is endless servitude to an unrelenting, unfeeling, unsatisfiable system that requires more of us than we realize. We don’t have time or interest in building connections with ourselves or the world around us. We live in dissociation; many times, sucked into our electronic portals. Not realizing the level of zombification it brings us, a lack of truly understanding our world, lack of creativity, and inducing fear. Fear of ourselves, of others, of love, of compassion. We push it away, run from it, and question it when we’re in the presence of it. Maybe some of us can’t even recognize it.
I know love. I’m sure you do too if you found this blog. If you don’t or don’t remember it I hope this helps you remember.
It’s an accepting energy. It’s radically accepting of the nature of the self and the nature of others and all things. It’s fluid. It takes any shape. It’s bright, it’s full, it’s warm, it’s honest, it’s true, it’s nurturing, it’s caring, it’s defiant, it’s unbiased. It recognizes everyone and all things. It’s all encompassing. It’s forgiving. It’s an endless source; everyone can have an abundance of it. It’s so vast and abundant, and yet not tapped into nearly as much as it could be. Our desire for convenience is making love harder to find, though it is omnipresent.
Everything has been made to be convenient, which has simultaneously produced isolation. We no longer have to step foot out of our homes to get our food, our supplies, our entertainment, our connection, our work even (though I have no complaint about the work part). We are encouraged to sit inside, in isolation. Encouraged not to get out into the world to do even the most mundane of tasks. Stepping outside is where the true knowledge about the world and ourselves comes from. It’s how we learn about ourselves, other people, and build connections. Staying to ourselves because we have everything we need conveniently at our fingertips is what keeps us disconnected and in fear. When we go on social media we are in connection with a mass amount of people, many of which may be dissociated and fearful individuals themselves, giving their thoughts and opinions to be internalizing by others, creating some sort of loop of disconnected regurgitated views and enforcement on how we think people should be, when many don’t even know themselves. More fear gets instilled, and more “convenience” is created.
Is there some evil force or person(s) that created this dark and depressing cycle? No, maybe, I don’t know. What I do know is we all individually have the option to give in to unfavorable feelings such as greed, envy, entitlement, hatred, fear, bigotry, prejudice, righteousness, victimhood, inferiority, superiority, and others. We have a choice every day, from moment to moment, on what feelings we will allow to shape how we view the world, how we move through it, what actions we take, and what messages we spread. We can and often do affect one another with our thoughts and actions. Just imagine how those more influential figures who weren’t connected to themselves and acted out of fear and lack have shaped the world we live in today. The fear they instilled in those around them and how badly they’ve affected communities, society, cultures, and countries.
You don’t know what you don’t know until you know it. Those more horrific events can be used as a tool in knowing how to do better individually and collectively.
The key to getting to a society that feels good and that we want to be a part of is through loving radically. We have to be in connection with ourselves first and foremost. i.e., understanding who we are, what feels good for us (and if you’re an over-analyzer like me, why it feels good), what feels wrong, spending true time with ourselves, and not taking into account how others are living their lives. If you find you are caring too much about how someone else is living, that will be your tell that you are not connected with the self and are in the feelings of insecurity. It’s okay it happens. I find accepting that I’m feeling insecure and loving myself still is the quickest way to move out of the energy and back to connection with myself.
When we know ourselves, is we can properly care for ourselves. When we know how to care for ourselves, we can help others do the same and encourage them to find the ways of doing that that feels good for them. I believe that would create a domino effect of people caring for their own well-being and the well-being of others, enabling us to make collective decisions that are in favor of humanity.
I am happy to report to you that it all starts with the self, and guess what that means? It’s in your wheelhouse of control! Isn’t that fucking fabulous! Like I said before, things are pretty bleak out there, but you and I have the power to inject love back into the world again. If that sounds big and scary, I promise you it’s not. I’ll let you know how I do this.
I don’t shy away from my negative emotions (not for long anyway). I may try to swat it away when it initially flares up because I’m like ugh, please not right now, but I do get to a place where I allow myself to give in (mindfully). I allow myself to feel it. I allow myself to understand what it is, why it’s there, and why I’m susceptible to it. This is already an act of love. Being accepting and loving enough with myself to allow myself the space to explore the adversity and different aspects of myself. I am of the belief that anything that isn’t of love isn’t truth (read The Creator and you’ll see my reasons why) so I don’t acknowledge the negative thoughts as truth but instead as internalized ideology from a system that thrives on unfavorable emotions. I then speak loving truth into myself, and I find my way through the negativity. At no point in this process am I ever disconnected from myself, even when I’m exploring that adversity. Also, I should note I do this even with the same emotion as much as I need before the loving truth becomes the only truth left in my energy. It’s not a linear process.
When I’m feeling light and bright. I feel my clearest and happiest and I make my best decisions from that place and create some exciting shit. That is why I like to be there. This love and space I hold for myself allows me to recognize that the same love and space extend to everyone. I am able to allow those in my life to experience the process, and if they need, hold their hand through it. At all stages when we are holding space for ourselves and for others, it is an act of love. I do this for myself, I do this for strangers, and I do this for the people in my life. I am choosing to radically accept and honor those I come into contact with. I accept myself when I’m not behaving in the way I would like. It’s not a linear process.
When we feel this love and this acceptance, maybe we move through life more mindfully and with purpose. Maybe we love ourselves and accept that we are different, and accept others for being different. Perhaps that means less shaming. Perhaps with less shaming, we aren’t throwing away our resources to feel accepted by society because we feel accepted because we exist in this world. Perhaps we have more resources now freed up to have experiences our souls actually want to have. Perhaps we embrace our unique beauty and don’t feel the need to live up to anything. Perhaps less crimes. Perhaps less hatred. Perhaps less hoarding. Perhaps less violence. There is so much to be gained through love.
Love yourself. Embrace yourself. You are just as I am, perfectly imperfect. Perfection does not exist. We are all so different that our views of what would make something perfect are subjective, which is why there is no such thing. We are meant to experience negativity, yet it’s something to love about ourselves. It’s part of the human experience. It’s not the experience that makes us; It’s what we take away from the experience that does. Radically love yourselves. Radically love the world around you. Get out of the house and experience it sometimes (not staring into your phone, that is).
I love you, and I hope if you were not sure how to properly love yourself before. You know now.
“Looooving yooooou, is easy cause you’re beautiful. And every day of my life, is filled with love for yooou. Lalalalalala, lalalalala, lalalalalalalalalalalala, dodododododooo. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”.
-Tales Of a Nobody
