Be a deliberate creator, they say. You are the manifester of your reality, they say. What does any of that mean? And if the sayings are true, how is it applied in practice?
I first want to establish a few things. It is okay to not be okay. If you cannot hold a positive belief at any given time, that is okay, it just makes you human. Sometimes life just be lifeing and you will end up in circumstances you have no control over. We will inevitably venture into difficulty at multiple points in life. The goal, though, is always to find our way back to better-feeling thoughts.
This Knowing is simply to share my understanding of how we create (manifest). As well as share the tools I use to create beautiful experiences for myself and how I keep inviting more of that beauty in.
Get ready to have your world rocked and your mind blown my beautiful creator.
My philosophy on life is that we are all creators. We cannot not create. Just by simply existing we are creating. We are here to have our own experiences that will ultimately contribute to the collective consciousness. Through each of our unique life journeys, we will formulate thoughts, beliefs, and opinions that only we can come to. That is why being yourself is so important, not only for you but for us all.
When we share our experiences with others through art, creativity, and how we show up in the world we are overtly contributing to the collective consciousness. Even if you choose not to overtly contribute, you are still contributing just by simply existing. Our thoughts hold energy, and that energy determines how we act, react, what we create, and what we gravitate to.
When we have repetitive thoughts, they become beliefs. Our beliefs dictate how we see ourselves and others. They determine what scenes we involve ourselves in, what activities we do or don’t do, what people we surround ourselves with, how educated we choose to be, and so on and so on. All of who we are and where we are in life is based on our beliefs. It may not seem like it at times, but we hold quite a bit of control over our realities. There is so much power in that knowing.
If you want to know what you believe about yourself, look around you. Look at the life you’ve created. Where and how do you live? What level of intimacy do you hold with yourself, your family, friends, and partner?
The “seeing” is not always easy, but it is worth it. If you’re unsatisfied with what you see, you’ll get to create some exciting shit from there (if you choose). If you’re pleased, it supplies you with gratitude, which holds so much power, allowing you to invite even more of that beauty in.
Ask yourself how you feel about your situation and in your interactions with the people you surround yourself with. If you can find more beauty than not, then it’s a favorable one. I would keep tending to it and fostering more of it. If the feeling is unfavorable then check in with yourself. Ask what beliefs are causing what patterns that are leading you to the predicament.
You are a natural manifestor. What you think, you create. It comes so naturally to you that you don’t even realize you’re doing it constantly. With that being said, if you’re going to be creating anyway why not do so consciously and create the most fabulous, juiciest, miraculous, fuck you reality you can think of.
This concept is something I’ve actually become profoundly aware of after manifesting a heartbreak. It took that heartbreak for me to see how I was creating hurt for myself based on the beliefs I held.
There was just something about being in a diminished, people-pleasing, validation-seeking role that was comfortable for me. Casting myself in that role unconsciously caused me to place myself in situations and tolerate certain things from others that happened to hurt me. Which only allowed me to provide myself with further evidence that I was not capable of playing any other part.
The knowing that I am creating my reality came with a hard but beautiful and much-needed lesson. As I reflected on that heartbreak, I could see so clearly how what I believed about myself was being reflected to me, not only through that experience but in all of my past ones as well. I realized if I did nothing about my beliefs, I would continue to have more of those experiences, they would just show up in different forms.
Pretty much all of my life, I ignored the idea that I could hold insecure beliefs about myself. It felt as though if I acknowledged them, that would mean they were true. I mean if I thought lowly of myself, how could I have any hope of being the confident person I longed to be? It felt like if I admitted I did not feel pretty enough, thin enough, intelligent enough, light enough, my hair wasn’t the right texture, my skin wasn’t clear enough, I wasn’t financially secure enough, then it would all be true and I was just be doomed.
Admitting to any of it felt like giving the insecurities power, allowing them to take over and I would just morph into them. It felt as if admitting it would solidify that I was irrevocably unworthy. Unworthy of love (at any capacity), attention, grace, space, time, energy, of having boundaries, of being seen, of being heard. So, I refused to acknowledge I could possibly be insecure. Yet those very insecurities I refused to acknowledge showed up in my very being.
Not admitting to myself that I held self-loathing beliefs was not a cure for the self-loathing, but in fact was a catalyst for the insecurities. Instead of acknowledging them and confronting myself with love and grace, I left them unchecked. I hid from myself, solidifying that I was unworthy even to myself. I left them room to run wild and take up space in my subconscious, permeating my beliefs, how I showed up in the world, and what I was willing to accept. Refusing to address my insecurities would go on to be the reason I would repeat the patterns of self-inflicted pain. I would be of me, often abandoning myself in subtle ways to appease another that I deemed more worthy. With each abandonment, it accumulated into me having a flimsy foundation of self-worth and security. With each experience of pain, my foundation would crumble little by little. this time I opted for a full regut renovation.
And sure, there is value in frivolous things like looks, money, status, and objects. However, as I rebuild this time, I find that a foundation on external things is the equivalent of the straw house the big bad wolf blew down. It creates a very weak and easily shakeable sense of self. While a foundation built on self-acceptance, self-love, compassion, and curiosity about life creates an unshakable self-structure.
It was only after that heartbreak, that I truly allowed myself to see through my hardened shell of an ego, and shatter it. For once I acknowledged my insecurities. I tracked where they’d come from and recalled evidence I had from past experiences that validated them. I found in each of the pieces of evidence there was one commonality. I was internalizing the beliefs of others.
I could then see how we all are just internalizing the beliefs of others and how that snowballs into how we see ourselves and the world around us. I could now see how the beliefs I internalized (both favorable and unfavorable) brought me to the experiences I’ve had and could continue to have in the future. Now that I’ve acquired the knowing that I am a creator I was able to call back my power. I had to drop the victim mentality, drop the blaming others for what they said, did, and how they did it.
I cannot stress this enough. It’s not a matter of IF we can manifest but how can we do so deliberately. We manifest all the fucking time. The only time we’ll stop is when we’re dead. Your manifestations reflect what you FEEL energetically (within your belief system) you deserve (ALWAYS). So, being a victim will get you nowhere. Blaming others will get you nowhere. Believing others hold power over your mood and circumstances will get you nowhere. Taking your power back will get you everywhere.
In my experience creating new beliefs can be as simple as just acknowledging the ones you hold and then choosing to believe something different. But you have to truly believe it. You can certainly delusionally say you believe something different all you want but if it doesn’t become part of your core belief system it will not be very effective.
I find this method to be easier when coupled with creating new experiences to hold that new belief on. It could look like asking yourself where a person of that new belief would go. What would they do, and what people would they surround themselves with? Then start placing yourself in those situations. When you prove your new belief true, it holds a bit more weight in your energy.
If the belief sprouted from a traumatic experience I would suggest consulting with a therapist or a trauma counselor for what I’m about to say next.
Changing a belief is not always as simple as saying “I’m educated”, then taking steps to educate yourself to further validate that belief. Sometimes the belief has so much trauma behind it that it may require you to dig beyond just knowing what belief you hold. Sometimes you have to go back to the event that caused it which can be painful. There have been beliefs I held that required me to do just that. It encouraged me to have difficult conversations I thought I’d never have with people I love dearly who’d affected me growing up. I would advise (at the very least) ensuring you are in a safe space and/or around people you feel safe, seen, and heard by. Crying is likely to happen and who knows what else.
Once I’ve gone back to the trauma, I ask myself what I would have needed in that moment and visualize myself giving it to that version of me. I speak kindness into that version of myself. I speak love into that version of myself. I may tell myself something along the lines of, “That was not okay and it was not your fault”, “It was not your burden to take on”, or “I’m sorry you were made to feel that way”. I give that younger version of myself compassion and empathy and I make sure to do the same in the present. I give in to myself and provide myself with what I would have needed then, now.
It’s important to understand that people are not perfect and those who hurt you were hurting within themselves. We all hold beliefs about ourselves, and they may not always be so kind. Those who hurt us may have been hurt by others or may have acted out of fear. I would not advise that you take that knowing and stick around for more abuse, but to have compassion for them from a distance if necessary (whether it be literal or mental distance).
Although, we do not want to aim to, we will hurt one another because all of our beliefs will not always align. Compassion and love for yourself is the most important thing. It will award you the ability to hold that for others. It makes life less serious, more fun, makes things feel less personal (because they never are), and you just feel so light and free. You will not internalize other people’s beliefs as often and you’ll breed a space where you encourage those around you not to either. Simply giving yourself compassion creates a more enjoyable reality. If we can affect one another through how we show up in our beliefs just imagine if we accepted ourselves. Compassion and love are the keys to getting on track to manifesting beauty.
It’s also important to note that changing a belief is not a smooth (and definitely not an easy) process. It could result in a separation with those who no longer fit that outdated belief. If you have abandonment issues that will need to be nurtured (again, therapy is fabulous). If your core belief and that of another aren’t matching any longer it may naturally cause a drifting away effect. And please for the love of God, try not to focus on what you are creating in the midst of creating it. That caused me quite a bit of anxiety in the beginning. You have to trust yourself and the life you are creating and have fun with it. Have fun with the process of trying new things, meeting new people, going to new places, and getting to know more about who you are along the way. The evidence that you can trust yourself will naturally come.
Very long story short (it could have been much longer so you’re welcome), the root of being a good deliberate creator is knowing yourself as deeply as you can. Not only the parts that you love but the parts that you hide away in the depths of your mind. Show all those parts of you compassion and grace. Give yourself space and lots of love. Then watch as the world around you bends to bring you all you believe you deserve.
You are the creator! I hope that knowing makes you feel powerful as it does for me.
-Tales of a Nobody
One response to “The Creator”
I love this! It felt as if you captured the very essence of my life and provided ways to embrace all of me… The good, bad and the in-between. You also established a way to overcome past trauma while applying it to ones presence and future self. Thank you